Will Your Mediated Agreement Really Work For You?

There is a way to measure how beneficial a mediated agreement will be for you. But to know it, you must do some work before the actual mediation session, whether on your own or with your attorney if you have legal representation.

This pre-mediation work will save you time, money and heartache after you've signed a mediated agreement, when you may begin to experience serious doubts about having done so.

First, know what it is you're trying to accomplish in terms of resolving the specific issues. This goes beyond just "getting it over," especially if you're already in court and you think the process has been expensive and long. It means analyzing your best and worst case scenario if you had to file a lawsuit or if you're going to trial.

This part of your pre-mediation work includes not only the legal costs associated with the legal system (lawyers, experts, etc), but also the cost of a particular decision you do not want but could still be a possibility if you go to trial, and which may have costly consequences-whether in terms of money or otherwise--for you.

Second, for each of the issues in dispute, create a bottom line for you to use in a negotiation. This will let you analyze the alternatives that may be offered during mediation. It will give you a yardstick against which to measure a particular result that at first glance may seem attractive.

Third, understand that your opposing side may have done the same analysis--at least if they're serious about reaching a resolution. So it is in your best interest to do a similar analysis of their side of the issues. If you, too, are serious about reaching a resolution, you will have a better idea--not a certain idea, just a better idea-of what may be acceptable to them and can negotiate accordingly.

Throughout your analysis you should be evaluating which are the issues that are less important for you. Use those to bargain for a better position for you on those issues that matter more to you.

This analysis is applicable for any kind of dispute resolution, including divorces, post-divorce issues such as changes in custody arrangements, division of property, contract disputes, landlord-tenant disputes, etc.

All of the above may sound like a lot of work in preparation for a mediation. But if you understand the alternatives to a mediated agreement--expensive litigation for the opportunity to have a stranger (a judge) make the decision for you--you may find that this is truly a more advantageous process for you because you have the opportunity to participate, along with the other side, in creating a more palatable or acceptable solution. That is the true benefit and measure of a mediated agreement for you.

Vivian

www.fldivorcemediation.com

So How Will Mediation Benefit You If You're Headed for Divorce?

Whether you have considered filing for divorce, or are in the middle of one now, you may have heard about mediation. In a Florida divorce, sooner or later, you will go to mediation, either before you file the case; or during the case. That's because Florida judges refer the case to mediation before a trial. So what is mediation and what are the advantages to you of using it n in your divorce, especially if you fear a long battle in court?


Mediation is one of the alternatives to a trial. You will use a mediator, who will help you and your spouse communicate. Mediators are not judges; they cannot make you agree, they can simply help you to agree. For example, they can help each party see the weaknesses or strengths of their case without bias, or help you solve issues more creatively.


Perhaps the most important advantage to using mediation services is the control each party has over what the outcome will be. No one is going to be affected by the ultimate outcome of your divorce like you will be. So why put the resolution of your case in the hands of a third party---a judge--who does not know you, and has hundreds if not thousands of cases like yours with limited time to devote to each case?


Another important advantage in mediation is that negotiations during mediation are confidential, unless the law requires the mediator to make disclosure. Broadly speaking, this means you cannot tell your judge what was discussed in mediation if an agreement is not reached. However, the law requires a mediator to disclose certain things, such as child abuse, if they learn about it during the mediation. In any case, the confidentiality is important because it lets the parties discuss the issues and potential agreement fully, without fear of being held to a less favorable position in court if the mediation does not result in a marital settlement agreement.


Also, while your attorneys are an invaluable source of information and advice-including during a mediation session-they don't work for free. We're all familiar with the cost of good legal advice on the way to the courthouse so there is no point in discussing that here. But saving on attorney's fees is also a great advantage because there is no need to continue litigating once you have reached an agreement--the more money you save in the more you can keep for you and your children, if any.


In addition, studies show that parties to a divorce are more likely to comply with the terms of an agreement they participated in reaching then with the terms of a final judgment. So, once your divorce is final, you may be less likely to go back into court to enforce the terms of an agreement than you are those of a final judgment.


Lastly, there is the advantage of cutting your case short. Anyone who has been a plaintiff or defendant in the court system is aware of the pressure and stress involved. In a divorce, particularly when the parties have children, the last thing a family needs is the pressure and stress of the process or the lingering ill-feeling after the divorce decree is final.

This are just the some of the major benefits to you and your family of using mediation.

Share your opinions on this post or feel free to ask more questions. If you have a question about mediation and how it can help you but don't want to post it, email me at vivian@fldivorcemediation.com. I personally answer all questions.


Vivian

www.fldivorcemediation.com

Blogging for Conflict Resolution

Hello, everyone. My name is Vivian Rodriguez, and am a family attorney and certified family mediator in Florida.

I am a firm believer most disputes, especially those concerning families, can be resolved through civil negotiation used intelligently to lessen the emotional and financial impact on families.

I will be posting mediation-related information, including information on developments such as e-mediation, news, etc.; and tips for better negotiating skills.


Feel free to post comments, questions, etc., on anything related to mediation, communication, negotiations, case scenarios, etc.

I'm looking forward to your comments; and if you see a survey question on the blog, I'd love to know your response.

Until next time,

Vivian

www.fldivorcemediation.com