Many couples are finding it hard to get divorced with the current economic downturn. While it may be difficult to pay for the legal fees that usually accompany the dissolution of a marriage, it is good to know there are some alternatives that mey be suitable for any couple. These include using your state's forms for divorce or using mediation.
Practically all states have divorce forms you can use to do your own divorce. Many of these states also have help centers as part of their judicial system to help parties with the forms. In some states, you can download the forms for free; in others, you may have to pay a minimal fee. Since you do all of the work, there are no legal fees unless either of you wish to consult an attorney before using them or to review what you and your spouse have prepared. Of course, you will still have to pay for the filing fee charged by the court for starting the action, but even here you may be able make arrangements to pay the fee in installments since many states give you this option to pay filing fees.
A second option is to use mediation. If you've read any of the other entries in this blog, you know that mediation uses a third party neutral person to help a couple reach an agreement that takes care of all matters pending between the parties, including issues of child support, time-sharing, and division of property and debt. Because parties usually pay an equal portion of the mediator's fees, the cost of mediation is usually a lot less than the legal fees that would be incurred by the couple if each had an attorney representing them.
Both of these alternatives have always been available and have always made sense in the context of family divorce or post-divorce litigation. It's just that current economic conditions are forcing couples to consider them more closely and look at their situation in a more practical manner.
Showing posts with label divorce litigation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label divorce litigation. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Friday, May 23, 2008
Divorce Mediation: Sometimes Timing Is Everything
Some couples decide they will try to reach a settlement before they file for divorce, and engage in mediation only to find they cannot come to any agreement. Other couples are never able to mediate any issue, and end up with a judgment after months (sometimes a year or two) in litigation. In between, there are those who attempt mediation at one point, reach no agreement at first but do so at a later time short of the trial date.
What is the difference between them? And, if you want to avoid the emotional and financial impact of divorce litigation, how can you tell when you can benefit from mediating your divorce before filing for divorce at your local courthouse?
To answer these two questions, it may help you to determine what degree of trust you and your spouse still have for each other.
A certain (minimum) degree of trust between parties is important to any meaningful mediation, but more so in a family case because of the emotional ties between the parties.
Lack of trust alone can derail any mediation because the party lacking trust in the other will be weary during mediation negotiations. This can result in either a short mediation, where the distrusting party ends the mediation abruptly at the first sign of what he or she may perceive as the other party’s “game.” Or, it can also result in negotiations taking longer.
What’s more, even if a tentative mediation agreement seems to be taking shape, the distrusting spouse may doubt that the other will comply with the final agreement, and end mediation just before it seems like an agreement is a real possibility.
Depending on what leads to distrust, the passing of a bit of time may sometimes resolve the issue.
The best approach, however, is to acknowledge the feelings of the distrusting spouse (regardless of whether such distrust is justified), and to find objective references to measure compliance by either party. This allows the distrusting party to trust the process of mediation instead as well as the enforcement of the resulting agreement, if necessary down the line. This is so because the other party is not controlling the objective reference that will be used to decide whether he or she has complied with what was agreed, and thus the distrusting party doesn’t have to fear being manipulated by someone in whom they have little or no trust left.
Parties who are mutually distrustful and have chosen divorce litigation as their first step may still have a chance to mediate a divorce agreement successfully. This may come after spending months in litigation, with each party tapping and depleting their marital resources to fight each other. In this instance, at least in Florida divorce courts, they will have a chance to settle before going to trial because Florida courts require all parties to go to mediation before trial. In some instances, these cases settle out of sheer financial exhausting, so to speak. Of course, there are still those who do not and proceed all the way to trial and final judgment from the judge in their case.
Ask yourself where you are in terms of trusting your spouse. Then ask yourself where you think your spouse is in terms of trusting you. The answers here can guide you in deciding when you should go to mediation. Of course, in a Florida divorce, if you have already been ordered to go to mediation and the trial date has been set, there may be little you can do to postpone the mediation.
Vivian
fldivorcemediation.com
What is the difference between them? And, if you want to avoid the emotional and financial impact of divorce litigation, how can you tell when you can benefit from mediating your divorce before filing for divorce at your local courthouse?
To answer these two questions, it may help you to determine what degree of trust you and your spouse still have for each other.
A certain (minimum) degree of trust between parties is important to any meaningful mediation, but more so in a family case because of the emotional ties between the parties.
Lack of trust alone can derail any mediation because the party lacking trust in the other will be weary during mediation negotiations. This can result in either a short mediation, where the distrusting party ends the mediation abruptly at the first sign of what he or she may perceive as the other party’s “game.” Or, it can also result in negotiations taking longer.
What’s more, even if a tentative mediation agreement seems to be taking shape, the distrusting spouse may doubt that the other will comply with the final agreement, and end mediation just before it seems like an agreement is a real possibility.
Depending on what leads to distrust, the passing of a bit of time may sometimes resolve the issue.
The best approach, however, is to acknowledge the feelings of the distrusting spouse (regardless of whether such distrust is justified), and to find objective references to measure compliance by either party. This allows the distrusting party to trust the process of mediation instead as well as the enforcement of the resulting agreement, if necessary down the line. This is so because the other party is not controlling the objective reference that will be used to decide whether he or she has complied with what was agreed, and thus the distrusting party doesn’t have to fear being manipulated by someone in whom they have little or no trust left.
Parties who are mutually distrustful and have chosen divorce litigation as their first step may still have a chance to mediate a divorce agreement successfully. This may come after spending months in litigation, with each party tapping and depleting their marital resources to fight each other. In this instance, at least in Florida divorce courts, they will have a chance to settle before going to trial because Florida courts require all parties to go to mediation before trial. In some instances, these cases settle out of sheer financial exhausting, so to speak. Of course, there are still those who do not and proceed all the way to trial and final judgment from the judge in their case.
Ask yourself where you are in terms of trusting your spouse. Then ask yourself where you think your spouse is in terms of trusting you. The answers here can guide you in deciding when you should go to mediation. Of course, in a Florida divorce, if you have already been ordered to go to mediation and the trial date has been set, there may be little you can do to postpone the mediation.
Vivian
fldivorcemediation.com
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