Children Benefit When You Don't Litigate

For couples with children, mediation and collaborative law provide the best options for achieving a divorce while at the same time being able to maintain a relationship once the divorce decree is entered.

Being able to work together to continue to parent children after a divorce is more difficult if you are engaged in litigation. Because litigation is adversarial and can bring out our least attractive qualities, many parents find it takes some time after a litigated divorce to be able to work civilly, even when it comes to issues affecting the children. In some cases, parties are never able to leave their resentments for each other behind, leaving their post-divorce relationship stuck in the adversarial rut and inadvertently placing the children in a difficult position.

Once the decision to get a divorce has been made, the quality of your relationship with your spouse need not necessarily change much when it comes to parenting if you make it a point to work on reaching an agreement that is mutually satisfying and takes into account the long-term impact for your children.

Much has been written about the wisdom (or lack thereof) of staying in a marriage for the children's sake. But this isn't an either/or situation. There are always ways of accomplishing a divorce while at the same time doing as much as possible to safeguard good relations between the parents.

Mediation or collaborative law allow you to continue laying the groundwork for working together and in the best interest of your children. There is no reason why, if you were able to parent your children together, you cannot continue to do so after the divorce.